just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
