Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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