and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
