I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
