She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
