I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
