sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize