I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
