Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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