I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
