it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
