we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
