watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
