Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
