i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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