I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
