Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
