you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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