If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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