every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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