Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You made out with two different species that night
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize