stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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