i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
