I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it was like eating out sand paper
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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