i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize