this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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