you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
