I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
high people should be assigned attendants
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize