Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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