She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you win again, gameday.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
