While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
