if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
