Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
