Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
