i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
