Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize