I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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