God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
