I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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