can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize