Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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