Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
