so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
