can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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