shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Terrible idea I love it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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