so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
