Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
