Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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