It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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