Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
