Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
