She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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