if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
