girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
