Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
