it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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