She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
