Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
