Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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