Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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