I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
