i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
