So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
