dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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