Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So squirting runs in the family.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
