Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
