me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
